SnOw AnGeL FoR YoU....

after "THE LONG BREAK"

2005-11-11T02:21:00.000-08:00

I wasn't able to write here because afteer october 15 I went to the province where internet is still an alien. But before I went home,I attended my friends get together picnic in meimei's rest house in lilo-an and it was really fun. And the only thing i did in the province was to eat popcorn in front of the tv screen. Hmmm... my stomach is full of air up until now. hehehhe......i saw AChi during the break but as usual I always broke my promise to visit her in her house. I was so sad. But then sem break came to an end and I went back to the city saturday before the class starts. But as usual first days always means, go to school meet your classmates but go to ayala afterwards. And so the next day, I went to my peer facilitators training for 3 days in USC retreat house. Now let me tell you about it. I never expected the place to be so nice and so very at home. It reminded me of my house in the province.I met new friends and all of them were so fun to be with. i think the event pave the way for us to get to know each other better and be more understanding and explore the world unknown to us. I really miss them already. Like Cam who is so cute and talented, Warwin who is so kalog, greg who never loses words of wisdom and stories to tell, jed with his brainteasers in partnership with his bestfriend kakai (maski d cla admit), Twinkle with her 100 dreams, cindy and her mommy figure to all of us esp. to me, Ans and his ki-at2x and his laugh, jen and her bloopers, ella the beauty, anne my bedmateand slippersmate, erma and our karelate thing, with all the guidance councilors who trained us to help others.once a pf, always a pf. I realized a lot of things in just 2 nights and 3 days. And meeting these people is enough reason for me to be thankful. I just got back last night but even though i was so tired i still read kakai's book "deception point" by dan brown and bai, sobra katsada.....the last afternoon in the retreat house was spent with the wise pfs. Lingaw. In fairness, My glasses was broken during the game. but i had fun. I met the old pfs and they are so cool. we ended up writing messages for each other and to tell you the truth, i had a hard time looking for the right words to give to them because What we had was beyond my expectations. One thing i wish right now is to have these people in my life forever.
pasensya nag-emo ko karon. I can't wait the next harry potterrrr movie ever! till next time.

I am BAck!!!

2005-09-06T03:26:00.000-07:00

So long. Thanks joseph for the comments. bwahahaha...I am BAck! I am actually so busy.why? because my sister-in-law gave birth to a healthy baby boy which by the way they named as "ervin john paul"... yahyahyah blame it to my bro who is obsessed with his name. He was born at about 12:56 in the afternoon last saturday and yes i am so happy. But they actually put me incharge to run and run as in from ayala to sm to buy baby stuff and so on. my life kiss my ass...btaw, im tired na gyud. i have this self hatred right now. i dont know but i have this cold war or something with pia and im beginning to lay low with my friends.. Maybe im just too tired and so self isolated. whatever it is.... this week is actually the intrams week and foundation week so meaning no classes and all... but i still dont like my life period.
Life is a complex story and damn my life is more than complicated its also killing me for being so ******. i dont know the right term. can you provide it for me? yah give me a break... im tired of my childish illusions and self pity. I am so tired. simple as that. small is beside me right this minute and we are going to jump from the rooftop of ayala as in tonight. believe me this is true. she is really my true friend kay iya ko ubanan ug pagpakamatay....... tonight we are going to usc south campus to watch watever our p.e teacher wants us to watch. so for now... goodbye,,,, baboon!!!!! c u in the lagoon!!!!so long farewell, im happy to row the boat sa lagoon sa ayala.....

I need you!

2005-08-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

People of the world i am now editing my blog so please leave a comment sad oi....hehehe...
To start my blahblahblah, i tied my hair in a chinese style and they all teased me as a koreanang hilaw.anyway. kalai, pia, joseph, carlo, small (stands for crazy in love with smallville), temtem, Gene, JErens,CAncan, and yours truly went to usc girls high late last night to watch a play entitled "SILANGAN". i thought the play would be pretty boring but it turned out to be so fun,super fun. CArlo, a co member of jaycees was casted and he looks so good in his aeta and maligno costume but hey yo! psych society people JB Mar looked like a dog without a tail in his maligno costume with his tongue the only red in his outfit..Sorry JB.but he really stand out last night because of his spiky hair. hahahha.Goodluck Jb for your next play. I wish i still have the time to join Theater Guild next sem because right now im pretty busy with life already but i really reaaly want to join. Just seeing tohose studenta wearing colorful costumes and performing on stage makes me wanna stand up and join them. over na yon. There were actually lots of bloopers or as the psych lingo amu rana mga taga block B ha..) calls it "googlie" especially sa ila mga costume and actions and especially JB's actions.HE makes us all laugh. Anyway, he's the only psych major there so of course we will notice the only spiky hair with a red tongue. hehehe... Hey, september 2 is the birthday of my mommy renee sa UP. I think she's going to be 18..Yeheey, my mommy 18.ANd oh, i am going to present my monologue this friday already,this is so cool. JB dont be angry with me please...I am just telling the psycho language... Ok im a weirdo but thats me. PIa is sitting beside me right this moment and she keeps telling me not to kill the keyboard. whatever.I have to find ten people for referrals. five people for testing as in ointelligence tast, emo test, interest test,tanang test sa waly world test and i Also needs to find five pipz for counseling.how the hell can i find people who are willing to go to the guidance center for counseling abi nalang buang na gyud sila as in mamatay na sila ila mga problema. by the way, yesterday, as in mga hapon before mi nangadto ayala, kay we had a practice for our entrams dance sa tc as in mga 4-5 pm. Na late mi sa sayaw so we got scolded but the worst thing pa didto dapit si feeler and mr. canteen guy sa among agian and this feeler told me to hurry up ano siya FC? as in feeling close? psych lingo to ahh.and then when the dance was over i went to the table behind our teacher's place in the microphone and then everyone sa among table actually saw spongebob and oh my feeler to the max.... "palabay ka ug buddha beads?", that's for spongebob. psych lingo na sad to ah..

Ang psych lingo is created by psych majors,obviously, block b mga grupo sa mga walay lingaw..hehehe....let me tell you another lingo,,,if you are in a store or in acanteen or in a counter and the sales whatevr doesnt even bother to notice you that means "la kay CHARM!". NAd you happen to have a crush on somebody and keep on following him an is mga stalkers pero dili sad grabe oi we call it "O.C." for official crush not for orange county. And by the way if oy happen to have no boyfriend since birth as in NBSB, welcome to the club known as the V society. And if you are the kind of groups na dili manguli after 5 andto sa steyler magtambay or sa CW as in covered walk, we are inviting you to join "wla'y uliay committee". by the way if nin ana na gyud mu kabaga ug nawong as in dili na masagpa ug mais, barog mu sa male lavatory (for girls only haa..) and pag pee mu didto and one...two...three...camera pic! and show it to everybody..And during MWF, if somebody keeps on making animal sound at the top of your head just look up and tarsier will be there and all ther psychos will be smiling at you... if you hate your teacher so much just put a name tag on his but saying "I am BARNEY". btaw oi, if you relly dont like your teacher and she keeps wearing purple, call her "BArney" or if she is wearing orange "NEMO" or if blue "DORY". and one thing if the teacher is as in mu walk out or dili ka kasabot or FS call her "BIG BIRD" and if the teacher looks like the senator son of ERAP ng peknut call him "JINGGOY ESTRADA". If the teacher's family name sounds like a gay call him "GAYLORD" and if the techer sounds like Miss PHAthuphats sa amu lit " Miss PHAthuphat" is what she is. if a chinese guy smiles as in ahppy BAsta daghan pa kaayu...kapoy type pudpud na ako fangers.
I want my high school friends as in my friends forever to visit me and not forget me and pls. leave sad mo ug commnts oi... mamatay inya si batman ug superman. kamu sad......labs yu! don't let the bed bugs bite you....

Im Happy Yet so Sad..

2005-08-22T04:52:00.000-07:00

College life is so fine..Im finally enjoying my life. I've got lots of friends and being a member of school orgs is really helpfull..Anyways, I love my course nah..behbehh...let me clarify this..:if you are something unique with lots of colorful stuff in minds and others may call you weird, cool, beautiful, and you've this sense of baga ug nawong, well,Doh!.. bagay ka sa ako course. i am now a certified member of Junior JAycees and forever member of Peer Facilitators Circle in my school and this sunday i am going to attend kuya Carlos' friends of arnolds. Ok, Im pretty busy right now but im enjoying it.Though, i miss the orientation of CAYm, i will never gonna miss it next sem and by the way, the SC are looking for student volunteers who are committed to the school and im planning to join it,too. I tell you this, LA gyud buhaton ang mga psycho!Dli lagi mi busy with academics maybe our creative minds can work on it as fast as flash.CHAR! Because ofschool orgs i met a lot of friends and blahblah.
pEOPLE IN psYCH ARE FULL OF adhd,schizo,aLZHEIMER, BASTA TANANG SAKIT NAGSAGUL....I love my course.Though sadness never leave me, unfortunately, i still have this misunderstanding with my family. I still dont like them. They keep judging me.The truth is judging a person relly hurts more than you could ever know especially if those arent true. That is why siguro im diverting my overused mind sa other stuff.Like being busy sa schooland all that stuff. i actually come home so late so that when i arrive ill just go directly to my roonm. Sad noh?thats the truth.

By the way, i really have a lot of laugh with my friends Jhen and Tin because they are so ozzing stalkers sa among schoolmate but in fairness he's so gwapo but i bet hhe is so pihican sa mga girls and we think that his course is accounting, so therefore hes got a mind gyud.Jhen and Tin actually call him "steyler guy" because he's always there sa steyler and mostly he's wearing black. but he's too perfectnah...And Small my friend for 5 years now is actually dead over heels with this "canteen guy". HE's not actually gwapo but he's intsik and his friend is so feeler that he thinks xa ang target..grhh...feeler as we call him..(alias lang tanan hah...though we're not sure of there real names).hehe..Funny anfg college noh?Anyway, KAlai who is also part of the gang is crazy in love,sorry kalai..cruch diay oi...with a lot of guys but im not so sure who is on the top list.Is it Psych pro?or spongebob na nafeeler na kron?or tha banda guy na cute in fairness?hoy!libog..We actually have this place we call "the place to be"
sa school and around the school. When we are at the school you can actually see us sa CW sitting watching people and making fun of ourselves and watching for our O.C's and during lunchtime "sunstar the place to be". Crazy ako mga friends noh?murag ako dili. Im enjoying life now and i dont want it to be ruined that is why im keeping my feet on the ground. Is that the right word?

I dont have to be worried about belongingness because wala ma'y mga paki na gmga tao sa amo department. Sadly, Im still the sad girl and dont know what to do daughter and sis to my family. They will never understand my world because im different from all of them, i now realized. They will never understand a person who has a different perception of lif an etcetera. But im still hoping that my family and I will come to good terms. my father is actually in hospitl right now and tomorrow the doctors will cut his eet. Im actually worried but im not going to let it show to everyone because i still got hatred for him .Stop the kaoahan now.

Though i lost achi physically, i still got a friend who can actually relate with me and i can so be open with her without inhibitions because according to our psych test, we can actually relate with each other and very yes kay pareha man mi mga buang.hehehe..And talking about mga buang..Kami man siguro mga buang tanan.

let me tell you abot everything and nothing, im hungry but i cant go downstairs for mcdo because tha5t means wasting for money this time .Im just gonna wait for home. I still hjave to make filipino by the way as in monologue and me as a witness and we are going to have a test in lit on wednesday and tomorrow i have to look for my engloigh teacher first thing in the morning because i have to pass some stuff from my klasmeyt kay responsible president man daw ko..Yah ryt..I have to be on duty sa guidance 3 hours a week and i have to find 10 CAS pips to take some tests sa guidance and i still dont have 1.duhh, busy kuno ang mag pipol and our skid never fits.hehehe...busy daw..Entrams are really on the way and im so excited to dance like a corpse bride sa tc and wear our fairy hedress and ballet with heels shoes....naa diay?unsa man diay nang uso kron.heheheh.hehehehe.AND oh by the way this coming thursday is our CAS assembly so that means we will be excuse from wearing our superduper hot uniform and we are all wearing blue!hehe...this is my chance to look for people para dad on sa guidance. heheheh....watch out for me CAS!

I have to end this na cuz im so gutom forever... Pls. appreciate my fellow cebuanos the PASAKANIN nad THE AMBASSADORSkay magbbasul mo kung dili mo maminaw sa ila. Duh, pang worldwide na ang cebu music industry karon..kanang pasakanin,bai, kai tagaanu school gyud na...And pls..if you can put this in your very full organizer, pls. do watch SIlangan by San Carlos Theater Guild...Appreciate your own doh...naa andg pasakanin bai..mauy ingon nila dili lang ko sure.Inya kung mag sosci mo watch out for big bird kay basin mutugpa na xa sa inyung ulo nya mu walk out sa klase and declare "pass a 5 pages essay about culture and postmodernism"...duhhh..ni wala man gani xa naagdiscuuss..Thank God balik na amu orig ticher..ANd oh if mag P.E. mo watch out for barney, the dino. I she will wear purple, barney xa, kung red,pooh xa sa teletubbies bai bah, kung yellow spongebob siya pero walay kalupig sa spongebob ni kalai na rugged au....Sorry pipzzz....nana ko excuse...gutom na au...baibai for now....

Fantasy of love

2005-08-17T04:42:00.000-07:00

How does it feel realizing that you love him already but he fall out of love?
How does it feel knowing that he will never be yours?
how does it feel hoping that someday he will notice you again?
how does it feel loving someone that is not for real?
It is so hard to believe in make-believe
Fantasies of people who believe in magic and love
And loving him knowing that he is not for real.
Yet, keep hoping that his eyes will turn to you and offer a beautiful smile.
You can never say "i love you" nor "i care about you,too."
You can never go to malls or strolling in the park holding hands tightly assuring his love for you was real.
he can never kiss your lips and hands while making promises of love.

It used to be so good, so cool, so nice, so in love...
He can kiss your lips and touch your hands withso mauch care and love.
he xalls you and texted you anytime of the day, he never forgets to say "goodnight" and "i love you" when are you going to answer me back?
But just one day he just go away without telling you he has to leave you.
And it is not then you realized that everything was a game of falling in love that he fades away.
You searched for him in every corner, in every man you see, in every place yu go..
But he never came baxk to you.
And then you found out that everything was a lie, a fantasy of falling in love...
One day, you finally saw him but he washolding another girl's hands looking at herthe way he never looks at you.
He was saying "i love you" the way he never does to you.
He smiled at her with his so much loving smile.
And then you saw the girl... it was the same girl who once asked you "can you be my friend?"
Painful as it is,you can never stop your heart from loving him.
Never stop hoping he will come back to that place in the park.
but, he can never be yours knowing he loves someone else...
How does it feel knowing that hewas never been yuours from the start?
How does it feel loving him and keeps on loving him?
against all odds,yuo were just a reflection of the girl he truly loves....
You learned to stare at them from afar wishing that you were the girl he was kissing...
you will always be the wilting petals of the bed of roses.....

COLLEGE FRESHIES!!!!!!!!

2005-06-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Im in college now, yo! Psychology daw course ko.... I kind of like it. Usc main daw...... Misss ko na sina Achi, nadine, sara....my friends for life.....We spent our first day with the orientation followed by the fellowship nyt which was by the way kind of boring . it was like a variety show of the higher levels.... BORING!But anywayzzzz, my college life i think will be just a college CIC. You know y? Because i will never get rid of the spirit of the ciceans and its making me crazy, yo!the truth is psychology is not the career i want for my future but i dont want to take up nursing so i went to the 2nd closest course i like.... My first is really biology because i wanted to become a doctor..... u no parents stufff not to mention a bunch of family memberrs trying to annoy me with their never ending sermons about ending up being a teacher which by the way they know that i hate teaching so i think they're using it against me to control my freaking mind.....Im still in the environment of my previous school......And by the way, im crazy about the series LOST, especially josh holloway and BOOM(stay away from my sister!.......She's smart and special in so many ways!!!!!!)..... i like the story and the plott, etcetera.......

Heeeeyahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

I missed my blog... i've been to cagayan for 1 month and its pretty boring just staying at my brother's house watch tv and all that jazzzz...thank god my pamangkins who happened to be the same age as i rescued me from complete boredome.(pls...bear with my grammar....) i had a great time going out with them.. And they finally convinced me to read tagalog pocketbooks and well its fun reading those corny love stories made by filipino authors. And guess wattt????i've gained 7 lbs. since i came here. Ohhhhh!!!!I it...ohhh i forgot to tell you about my last days in high school,,welll you bettter watch out for it cuzz its reaally fun reminiscing the old good days....I've watched JENNIFER-LOVE-HEWITT new movie and it just made me cry, If only is not just another love story but it can also be another "the notebook, a walk to remember" movie... And the scene with ian and samantha under the rain is woth waiting for and the surprise made by ian in the opera stuff really made me sooo kilig.... The movie's soundtrack which samantha sung during the opera tingy is reallly a very beautiful song....Let me share a few phrase from the chorus of Love will show you everything:

I love you, you love me
Take this gift and dont ask why
and if you will leave me
I'll take what scares you and hold it deep inside.........................Love will show you everything................................

And the scene of ian and samantha under the rain is worth waiting for. I hope this movie will help make people do the things that will make that special someone feels that she/he feels being loved...... Because what if tomorrow when you wake they wont be there anymore and it would be very late to change your fate's decision........... Love him/her and love yourself.......goodluck!!!!!!!!

Finally!!!!!!

2005-04-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

I finally got the chance to update my precious blog... Thank God.. I have so much to say but i think it can wait until tomorrow.... By the way , I want to thank my Achi for helping me edit my diary..... Thanks a lot Achi.... Goodluck with your life in Admu.I finally graduated high school last MArch 30, 2005. It was very memmorable for me. Not just because Im gonna graduate but because I thought I will not attend the celebration. Something came up friday the previous week that made me decide that I will not attend my graduation and continue studying in college. I was even thinking of running away. but God is good, he gave me a choice. The truth of the matter is , i do believe in signs and there are signs everywhere to help us find the way. But sometimes we cannot notice them because we forgot our faith. Oh come on..... stop talking about these stuff right now.. Ah basta,,,, Weeks before the last day of being as teenager kiddo was really the best time, the best and the worst,..... oh How i love it... ill just tell you tomorrow.. I promise to everybody that i will update this precioussssss everday of my life......

I want to say hellllo to my friends in CIC-MAin.....:::::::musta namo???? I misss u a lotte guyssss!!! hope to see you around!!!!!
Espacially to: Achi maycee, BEa M., MAyen, Cherrie, lovern, GRacie, Hannah, Small, Daphne, Mommy REne<è>, JAm, NAdine, ANgela B., Kathleen, Sheila, Victoria, Rochel,... basta u no ho u r.... keep in touch k?!!!!!!!

HELPPPP!

2005-02-22T19:20:00.000-08:00

THANK GOD II FINALLY UPDATED MY BLOG.... but hey i need help!

You see my mind is full of confusion right now because i still cant decide for my damn future. My family especially my ever bossy evil feeler monster sis keeps on pressuring me in taking nursing as my course but i dont like even the sound of it....I dont want to anyones beck and call!!The truth is i still dont know what i want and imasking you to help me out...pls...i know you pips you these kind of stuff...I like to write, i like to travel, to satudy different people, take pictures, i like to act and dance but most of all i want to be rich...that's it... im just a poor fella who absolutely needs help.... how can i decide for my future when i keep on thingking about what ifs and whatever stuff that will come into my damn mind...oh my gulay,,i still cant decide and i have to now...ane thing my family's not really cooperating or guiding me into what i want , they just keep telling me to take up nursing because of practicality and i bet its because of money...Hell! i dont like them! they actual;ly give me a migraine.....can i ask you something? Pls. make suggestions about possible good corses, plssss...... Another thing...i dont like to study here in cebu because i will see the same puips over and over agin and im actually planning to change myself fore college but how can i get a new change when i already have a reputation which in fact bothers me a lot baecause i just dont like the way pips know me.....gets mo? so so what school kaya na pweding mapuntahan? Actually i'm planning to proceed to medicine but fate state that my parents wont even bother to support me so fuck of my dream...(sorry for the bad lingo! i just cant stop my mind from uttering those words because yo see, i cant make up my mind) Damn minddddd....wanna help....pls...i really cant decide and it getting near already...I want to die.....oinkoinkoinkoink.....

Pit Senyor!

2005-01-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

Im not yet over with the spirit of sinulog, baby. Gosh, it was so tiring. Last Saturday, I walked from San Carlos main to Santo Nino then to Escario. imagine, iwalked troughout the day. Then that same night i went to the debut of chikki. I had fun. And anywayzz, i had a great time the whole day. Then On the final day as in the day for the sinulog festival.Tat's where the real fun begins......i watched the street dance the whole afternoon. My gosh, oh I know.. you woudn't be interested to what happened to me lately.....are you? wahatever...but just want you to know that i witnessed the fireworks in ayala that same night with nadine(but i was with my family yet i went to nadine in kauna grill). And then my cousin and her kanong husband went to stay with us for the night so the whole gang slept at around 3 in the morning. Imagine!But i got a good "letanya" from chad(the kano guy) who keeps telling me all kinds of stuff and it's really sstuck in y heagd,dolly.It was so cool...till here!bye yah.....till next time...

Sad Ending?

2005-01-10T18:45:00.000-08:00

My friend, maycee just receive the results for her college entrance exam for ateneo and dlsu and she got in for both... I'm so sad because i feel like losing her already... Does it have to be like this Always?I mean, why do they always left me , the ones i really care and love? Why can't i be free to follow them or fulfill my dreams... Damn!! I'm imprisoned in a big dark cell. It seems that i cant get out. LOrd help me... I dont want to cry when the time comes that all my friends especially my bestfriend, maycee will leave me... Ako, my parents wont even permit me to go to another island to study." They said"Cebu!Nursing!That's final!!".Shit. Can't I make a decision on my own that i Will be happy naman...? guess not, because i'm still a Little lady in the corner.
Until here nalang cuz I really have to go....

"A STORY of love and passion"

2005-01-03T01:33:00.000-08:00

I have a story to tell
So listen up yo' and hear
My sister is unwell
So I have to feed her.
Then, there came a boy
Who happened to be the doctor
So I asked him How's my sister
But he replied"I'm sorry!"
Then, I cried and cried
Until there are no more tears in my eyes.
I feel him hugging me
Then i felt something insude me
Like butterflies flying in the sea.
I dont want to hurt my sister
Cause it might destroy her dearly.
So I ran and ran
Until I reached the stars.
One year later
I saw him again
But everything was not the same.
He came and talked to me
I felt like crying
But I just smiled.
He told me he loves me.......

But can't marry me
So I askd "Is it because of my sister?"
But he said "no"
and you then enlightened me with "I'm dying".
I fainted and I did not know
What happened then.

I told him I will marry him
For better or worse.
He cried and for sometime..
We did marry

But he died when he kissed me.

A Special Message to my Friendzzzz!!!!

2005-01-03T01:26:00.000-08:00

I am not perfect
I am not blind
I do need A special bond
With people like you
To help me grow
in A happy flow.

We are friends
And that is true
Though I am not sure
If your feelings are true
'Bout me and you.

Never forget this
Beautiful pal
Who likes to name
CORNY SLANG!

Put my picture in your heart
And close your eyes
With head bent down.
Open your soul
AND PUT MY MEMORIES AND ALL.

Open your eyes
And look at the sky
Cause' hail may fall
If you break it all.

Message is now over.
Hope you get the message ......

Another Sad Christmas

2004-12-25T17:48:00.000-08:00

I didnt feel the essence of christmas because I know it would just be another year of sad memory. This year has been the best and worst year of my life. And when i reminisce the past, all I could say is "Shit! i wish I could change that...." But reality check, that's what we always say if we dont like the things we saw and feel. I found myself but I lost it eventually. I found new friends but I lost happy memories. So what am I going to bring for next year's memory? I guess, the memory of a black christmas.The christmas in my home. I didnt feel loved, cared though few are sending me text messages a happy christmas. but where is happy? in my heart. I just coudn't find it. anyway, i'm used of having a black sad christmas.Little hearts wanted gifts to make their christmas cmplete. But the hearts like mine wish to make her complete on christmas day by forgiving,receiving, asking, loving, sharing,greeting jesus a very happy birthday in heaven. yes, I know how impossible it is but who could blame a sad girl for dreaming. Nobody knows the sadness I feel because what they see is a girl who can fight the trials and wars that comes into her life. That is my life in the eyes of reality. I own the ship but i'm not the captain sice what they always is I'm too young to lead a thousand men into an endless sea. And I'm too weak to control a ship of a thousand shit. I cant be happy on a christmas if my heart isnt happy. for me, what matters most is the peacefullness of a merry christmas. A didnt laugh, I didnt cry cause I kow it would just push me down. So, today is christmas day. I'm not happy because anther year has come for me to celebrate a black christmas. But wish me luck because as far as my experienced is concerned, new year matters most. Be careful what your mood is when 12 o'clock strikes on january one because that will be your captain mood for the whole year round.MERRY CHRISTMAS.

life of misery

2004-12-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Somewhere down the road in a starry night, i find myself gazing at the stars wishing to change my life. if those stars would grant my wish, then i would choose to live in my fantasy. Life is cruel and I know that for sometime now. I cannot change those reality so i stopped wishing to make my life be a better place to live. Reality hurts. nobody really realized that if wont open their eyes to the pollution, war, chaos, corruption and so on... I've got a lot of dreams and I know they would just be wasted if I let myself down because of those harsh words and pains of reality.
fantasy is all i want.Living in a kingdom where every one is happy,at peace. Families are together, smiling, caring, sharing. Countries are united, no corruptions and stuff. No people would destroy our mother earth, our so called beloved world. No chaos in our hearts so tha we can love each other forever. But evrything are just mere wishes of a little innocent angel of pains and heartaches. Those are just fantasies because relity states that no such thing exist because every one wanted to be better than abybody else. Even brorhers, sisters parents, bloods because we all wanted to be on top. that is reality, there is no fantasy. I hate reality but im in reality so then im craving for fantasy because that is the one thing i cannot get. We all wanted to have the things we csnnot have and that awakens the devil in us. If tose are not misesries so what are they?

Creating my own blog

2004-12-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I just made it with my friend, maycee. she helped me in making this blog stuff, you know. I guess, i'm beginning to be addicted with this stuff. I wonder, this girl beside me can really influence a lot of people especially me.